So. Good ol myspace. I haven’t used it in ages. Finally started to post stuff on it like the good old times.
I was getting a wee bit bored. I have lets say mmmm 1,293
& a dirty amount of page views. I used myspace to promote for upcoming shows back in the day. I would have pages DAILY of people writing me. And now all I get is young kids or creepy men writing me.
………………………………………. And that’s if im havin a lucky day.
So I went back and read old emails from me to people.
HOLY CRAP I used to be funny.
The stuff I posted was ridiculous.
Teenage Angel Fish had jokes. Holla holla
No but really, I was on the ball, sassy and weird.
I couldn’t stop reading. The thought that I actually came up with all that stuff seemed intense. Has my lack of self confidence really taken a toll on my personality?
I thought ALL I HAD LEFT this walking battlefield of a former badass was ONLY personality.
I realized something. I’M JEALOUS OF MY OLD SELF!
Slapstick humor and one liners was my defense
No all I worry about is someone seeing my arm fat and being repulsed by me. Or if I forget to keep my chin up and someone spots my turkey gobbler chin. I understand I am mentally messed up with my image. But I see it. Its real to me. And I’m tired of shying away from mirrors. I need to change that. I just worry if I’m honest with any doctors they might assume I am back to my old ways again. And I don’t wan to go thru all that.
I need to change a lot of things and #1 is my self image.
I am just hoping teen Angel Fish is still in here.