23.6.07

Politics, you Dirty Girl

ME- aggravated

Category: News and Politics

i dislike when loved ones are not so loving.
life as we know it can not be put on hold, or stopped.
its like trying to walk up the down esclator
im just standing on the bottom floor and thinking

"wow.. these fucks really dont get it"

i lost a friend today. i told her how i felt about her, and she told me how she felt about me. so here i am people. this is what i told i am.........so i am fake, i think im better than everyone else, im judemental, i think im soooo great, i make myself out to be a saint, i only give a shit when its convenient for me, i change my values daily, etc etc

so i dont know if i have made this clear.. i guess the "people that know me well" can be reminded-

i dont drink, i have never drank, i think drinking is fucking stupid and lame. the thought of hanging with drunk people puts me in a bad mood. i think its horrible that people need to alter the way they think and how their brains works just to have a good time. i do however, have that right to feel that way. I KNOW I DONT HAVE THE RIGHT TO PREACH TO OTHERS. I KNOW I DONT HAVE THE RIGHT TO PUSH HOW I FEEL ON ANONE. i can however, be friends with people that do drink, i can still find someone fun and a good friend even tho i dont like what they do. they can not like some things i do, but i hope they can look past that. i dont like to go to parties, but if im in the mood to flirt, i will go to one, or if my friends are going, and i am bored, i dont mind driving. i sometimes cant sleep if i know my friends ae out partying. i worry about them drinking and driving.

and when you are my friend, and i love you but i see you make stupid stupid mistakes, and you do them mostly when you have drank then you complain over and over about your mistakes, i get annoyed. and when you get hurt by someone and ask for advice but wont take it, and keep compliaing but wont even try to listen to ANYONE ELSE but you still complain and complain. i will be rude. i try. with you, all i feel like is someone you use as a crutch. i dont wantto have anyone think im like you. do you have any idea how hard it is to have people ask you " are you sure you dont drink/do drugs?" just because im friends with you? i have been labeled for years and all i do is defend myself. just to be your friend. is your friendship even worth it? i shouldnt care what people think of me, but i want to stand for something, i want to be someone that people can look up to.

life is too short. life is way too short.

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