Midol pt. 2

Dear internet,
i am sorry i only use you for the hard times.
all i do is complain to you.
well, you are the only thing that will listen
thank you.

i neeeeed to chill.
i know.
i neeeed to be positive.
i know i know i know.

things just suck at times.
i have great friends. great family.
im hanging with a cool guy.

i have grand job offer.

i just let people get to me.
i expect everyone to be sincere
but that is my problem:
i give a shit

sometimes when people give shits about me, it weirds me out.
it makes me worry and wonder what they see in me... to be so interested in what i say. sooo i push them away. i can think of three people like that right now. all live out of state, all are men.
sorry guys. i can be a brat. i know you all understand. thats why i love you guys. you get me. i wish you guys lived in utah.. we could have pizza parties and make fun of old people together.

so i have decided my plan. im going to rasie money and give most of my belongings away.
then i am going to buy a crappy old car and go on a road trip and see all my friends. then with what ever i have left in the bank, im going to chicago and live there with my cousin.
get a job at a gas station or walmart. anything horrible. and write about all the people i meet.
i still can not finish my book. my writers block is my illness.
so i am going to make a journal of my little adventure and build off that.
we shall see.

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