I always come up with the same line
I feel so lost
Ha
You can even look it up in my old poetry
Speaking of, I haven’t written a poem or song in years
I don’t mean to feel so self loathing
But I really thought better of myself awhile ago
I really thought I could make the world become a lot sweeter
As if every line I wrote..
could someday be read by someone who can better themselves from learning from my mistakes and choices
I thought singing around the house
And dancing around would not be my only stage
Now I realize im still here
Im still singing and dancing to myself
Ive come to the realization that people depend on making famlies to finish their cycle on earth
That’s it
We are just programmed to believe in amazing life stories
But its really just shitty friendships and then relationship
And reproducing and watching them grow as I will slowly just fade off
I wish and wanted so much more
But in the end I feel like I can never be the one to entertain
I don’t want any of those things
I just wanted to make everyone happy
Its to the point that im glad I never took singing lessons or acting classes
In the end its just a chase to get to the false aspirations we dream of
Im just the freak that cant accept that I will die in less then 40 years with nothing to show
I have absolotly no money
No insurance
No place of my own
I own a fucking cat
Even then, I cant feed him
I hate what a low life I have become
If me at 16 met who I am now, I know I would have been ashamed and embarrassed
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