Boot to the moon

Excuse me if I sound poetic, somehow my thoughts become clear when said in such a disordered way.
Hi, my name is Angela and I am defective.

Work and worry. Go home. Repeat. Realizing how repulsive one can become when the decisions made break age boundaries. Become isolated by walls built to protect.
My heavens I am on track and in control of this test. However, I lose sight of the point of the mountain when a steer closer to compassion. Finding this unethical? I sought out assistance and received a manual of mixed opinions. I wanted hands, not ideas.
Frustrated with false accusations towards my reasoning to live. Fingers are pointing in my direction, yet I pass through the mirage and still become accepted. No matter how much it could hurt, presence is the initial judgment with a first impression. So impress me to believe you can become King Midas. Your foolish judgement will label you a clown. Its hard to believe that someone you look up to can be that messed up in the head. And you’d never know. Do you want some cake? Defense mechanism. I was told I am only an organism. I am laughing to my grave. There is a God and he is all loving. Not one to ask for sympathy, I chose this life. Perhaps in heaven I knew how boring life could be by being average. So I wanted to be Angel. The strange, blonde, lerpy, girl that over analyzes the days. Except I don’t think my spirit chose to be alone. Maybe that’s something i sub continuously forced upon myself while I have been on earth.

On my back, looking at my light fixture. It reminds me of some kind of sea shell. Cream, and swirled. Ceiling is pure white. Its so monotonous. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I cant sleep at night, the one visual thing to look at is so utterly boring. To add to the complaint, the CD that I am listing to is skipping, that’s what I get for sharing. Surviving like a gentleman in a environment run by whores. When comparing life struggles with homeless, I am told I have "seen a lot" and "must gotta be scarred" I am so in love with my life. And so proud of the person I have become, and who I want to be. I have been given such an opportunity to grow and learn. I have the ability to walk. I can see. My disorders aren’t that shabby. Yet this misunderstood sense of loneliness creeps upon me as a hungry child in need of attention. And becomes my default set of mind. One flaw with a dependency I hate to care for. Maybe one young lad can decay my chain smoker personality. But until then, I will take it like a man and remain labeled as "Damaged Goods"

Thank you for most likely not reading it all. You have better things to do. and more useless things to break.

Hi, my name is
Angela
and I am Erotophobic

Hi, my name is
Angela
and I am Agliophobic

Hi, my name is
Angela
and I am Methyphobic

Hi, my name is
Angela
and I am Gamophobic

Hi, my name is
Angela
and I am Philophobic

Hi, my name is
Angela
and I am Neophobic