up chuck, up!

you know that feeling you get-

when your so confused and angry
you have to listen to Caliban
and repeat "fuck you fuck you" while driving.
and you drive
and drive
and drive
and drive
and drive
till your in Alpine
then you go to the gas station,
and be a complete werck on purpose to the gas guy
just to let out some anger
then eat your snickers and drive home
stilllll repeating "fuck you fuck you oh my gosh fuck you"
then yell at no one
and tell that damn steering wheel what a jerk he is
and why cant he get out of your head
then get home and you cannot sleep
then throw up.
at that point you cannot calm down
so you start throwing your old clothes away
everything you look fat in
everything that is too bright
anything with lace or fringe
anything that he might like

then you get the text.
THAT text. the one that you knew was coming
and you hold your phone like it was gold
and tell the phone what a whore and bitch it is
you tell it how your going to curb it and slit its fucking throat
instead you just text back "i'm busy"

im not busy! i lied. i really lied.
its not like thats news to you anyway
i was at a theme park today. and no it wasent with 'that' guy.
and by the way, that guy is awesome and he likes to shower.
i was with my cousin
i wish you would get on with your life.
like how I'm trying to get over you
i feel like a child.
caring about someone shouldnt hurt like this.

besides, your fiancé wouldnt like it if she knew you were emailing me.

piss off.

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