19.6.04

good morning BLOG

this is a day old, and i was thinkg to hard for my lil brain....


this time in my life is nothing as i pictured it years ago i never saw the trials that come slowing behind joy i saw 18 as an open door, but its more like a small window to gaze upon hell, and to see what you have to deal with the rest of your life you have to become responsible for yourself, and in time, other poeple you are trusted with that power by the date of your birth nothing even trains you for it you fall into it like a shallow puddle, you think you see clearly to the bottom, but as soon as you get there, its over. and your left with no were else to tred its all pointless every track has been laid out for you to ride on but you hate it you have to and no one cares and there no way out of getting into siuations without being the one crying in the end i am an open casket for everyone to gaze upon in pity to know that i bury myslef everytime, and i jsut let it become my routine im just as weak as expected so what is wrong with claiming emotions that never existed? why should i let feelings that have never become a sound wave, ever be heard? and replace it with false doctrine to pretend that your fine, and paint a foolish, grounded, grin on your plastic face? everyone is fake why cant you? why cant i ? its destiny to make our present hell, so why not go with it? we have no choice let me be revengeful on my own stupidity and let me fake that im content justy as long as you are happy ar at least, pretending to be happy.......

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